Embrace The Suck.

Well, it seems I did not quite hit my "blog every day for seven days" goal.  I made it four days, and then life took over.  So now you will get a "twofer".  Today is day seven, technically speaking.  So I guess that is 5 out of 7, which is much better than I have been doing.  I kind of like this "blog a day" thing, so I might just keep it up.  

What got me so busy is my new job.  It seems my entire life right now is built upon learning new things.  "Beginners mind" I believe they call it.  Working as a retail sales associate can be hard work!  I pulled my first 8-hour shift entirely on my feet in what might be forever.  I now have a lot of respect for those who have been doing it their whole lives.  This job is stretching me and growing me and it is nothing but good.  

And, it is giving me a lot of opportunities to embrace the suck.  Lots of things to improve upon daily. Not only that, but learning to work with new people, and customers in a face-to-face environment while not knowing much of anything.  Talk about humbling.  But, here's the thing.  I take it a step at a time.  Even drumming it down to one customer at a time, one transaction at a time.  If I mess up, someone is almost always there to help me.  

My second job, that I have not technically started yet, is driving for Lyft.  I am all ready to go, but there is a certain fear I have of the unknown still. Another wonderful opportunity to be in beginner's mind and simply embrace the suck.  I intend to get my first rides in this weekend and from there it will get easier.  And soon enough, it will be no big deal. If Lyft works out well enough, then I can do just one job.  But I wanted to take a retail job to prove to myself I could do it.  I am a rockstar at service, but needed some brushing up on my sales skills.  The great thing with my retail job is they pay me while they are training me, so this will do nothing but help.

My writing did suffer a little bit this week.  No morning pages for two days.  That is not a habit I intend to get into.  It is an adjustment working on someone else's schedule when I have been on my own schedule for so long.  I am reminded to make time for the things I deem most important. I do have to do pesky things like pay rent and feed myself, so working is one of the things I have to do.  But now, instead of a career, these jobs are experiments for me.  The fact that I get paid to do them is a nice bonus too.

I doubt I will ever go back to a scheduled forty-hour work week, at least not now.  The thought of it makes me shudder.  So no matter how many floors I have to sweep or mop, how many drives out to Tigard I might have to make, I can no longer be chained to a desk.  The benefit of being on my feet?  If I miss a workout, not such a big deal, since I'm not sitting on my ass and stuffing my face at a desk.  So though it's difficult at times, and the pay is not stellar, I am really enjoying it. I have already connected with people in the store in super cool ways.  I spent a few minutes yesterday morning helping a man with some lamps for his bedroom.  He lost his wife four years ago to cancer and he is just now getting on with things.  We shared our stories of pain and loss and that felt good.    

Last night I got to watch my youngest nephew play his first baseball game, and hold my great-niece.  Those are the things I cherish now.  I live a simple life, full of the things I love best.  And that is something I will protect fiercely.  If that means always learning new things and embracing the suck, so be it.  Oh, and by the way, I didn't coin that phrase.  I learned from my bad-ass guitar teacher, Brandon Cook.  I don't take lessons any more, but he I also learned a lot about life from him.  And he's one of the best humans I know, following his passion.  I think he knows what he is talking about.