This Shit Is Working

I'm not sure how this happens to me, but time seems to slip away.  I haven't written a blog post in 2 weeks.  Eeek!!!! I am doing other writing, but sheesh.  Ridiculous.  You would think not working would lend itself to developing a better schedule.  Not always true.  Because I have so much time, then I tend to waste it.  But I am tweaking it, always adjusting to find the balance.

I figured something out today.  Sometimes it takes me awhile.  I've been job searching and worried about what skills I don't have or if I can get a job that makes more than minimum wage, wishing I had a better career path, a profession.  All those nasty little thoughts that come up when you are actively making things happen.  

And then I realized something.  I am a writer.  It is the thing I live for, the thing that sometimes keeps me up at night and the thing I must do lest I go crazy.  So, everything in my life is in support of that.  Even my job.  If I end up working part-time to pay my bills, so I can write in the other part-time, then so be it.  

I have been playing small.  Pretending I'm not something I am.  I have stories burning inside me and I have to get them out.  I have things to say that people need to hear.  And no one can write the stories that I can.  As Neil Gaiman says, (loosely paraphrased), "there are better, smarter writers out there, but none that can write a Neil Gaiman story like I can".  I love that.  No one can write the stories I need to write.  So I continue on.  

A few weeks ago my brother "encouraged" me to spend 15 minutes a day working on my novel.  That's it. Not 4 hours, not even 2 hours.  Though I haven't spent 15 minutes every day, I have been doing this more often than not.  Guess what?  I now have 5,300 words towards my book I did not have two weeks ago.  My target word count is 80,000, so I still have a journey ahead of me.  But that's okay.

I most often write this story at night.  It seems to be appropriate as I want it to be scary.  I like to sit down and see what the story wants to tell me.  And, in that 15 minutes, I almost always come up with 500-700 words to keep the story going.  Are they good words, perfect words?  Nope.  Will I have to edit?  Oh yea.  But all the best writers, at least the ones I love the most, say it comes down to this: getting your ass in the chair and writing.  Every day.  Inspiration or not.