2 years ago I took my birthday off from work. I decided I would spend the day as if I lived a freelance life and could design my own schedule, dreaming of the day when I would be free from working a 40-hour a week cubicle job. And now here I am. Working for Lyft, designing my own schedule and traveling around. I am maybe the happiest I have ever been.
My birthday. It was such a good day yesterday. I received copious amounts of birthday wishes, and got to spend the day with my Dad hanging out. I brought lunch from Wendy's over to his place and he introduced me to this series called "Penny Dreadful" on Showtime. It was raining, so not much of a sight-seing day. He napped and I continued to watch the show and took a little nap myself. We ended the night with a delicious birthday dinner of steak covered in Alaskan crab and Bearnaise sauce, with huckleberry ice cream for dessert at The Depot in Missoula. I can't even tell you how long it's been since I've been with my Dad on my birthday. And that itself is a best thing.
Montana. I realized Montana was a wound, for me, that needed to be lanced. And sure enough, driving up through the Bitterroot Valley did that for me. Friday night it all came tumbling out. Closing out that circle was one of the best things about this trip, and probably one of the reasons I needed to do it. Sometimes you have to go back and then you can go forward.
Memories. It is good to be with Dad and talk about Mom. He remembers and knows things that I don't, and so instead of it being a source of pain for us, it can now transform into a source of joy. I know that is what Mom wants anyway. My heart still twinges a little bit when I think about her and this place. But I'm not afraid of it anymore. And now we've made some new memories, with no need to always revisit the old.
Today Dad and I might go to a baseball game later, if the weather cooperates. We might go to a ghost town or we might go antiquing. Or, maybe we'll just watch the rest of "Penny Dreadful". I don't know, but whatever we do will be good enough. For now, I'm savoring this time with Dad.